I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize