dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
