I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
