DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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