And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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