Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Someone signed my nipple.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
