In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
