Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
