I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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