ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
