Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize