everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
