remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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