we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
