i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
