Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
