Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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