One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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