with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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