if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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