would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
