the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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