theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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