I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
