the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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