on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just high enough for therapy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
