5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
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i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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