I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
