Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
