Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
