My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
