I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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