After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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