It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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