i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize