But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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