Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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