last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
