I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
