she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
