Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
