That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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