i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
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Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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