Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just want nice things and good sex
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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