Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
