shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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