It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
