Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
ttyl tear gas
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just pee around me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
