TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
