I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
