It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
