Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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