This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
