what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
