I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found puke in my bra..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
