i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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