i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
