I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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