i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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