DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My dick has a subreddit
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
